What do you live for?

(while writing this I was listing to "River Flows in You" which with you reading this I think you should do the same)

Sitting here I think what do I live for? Why fight for life why strive for happiness, grades or even love when pain is right around the corner.

Friends I know now I may never see again after graduation. And friend fail you when you need them most. Not their fault because they don't know your falling apart or is it?

Religion is studied everywhere in the world. It is to explain what happens when the world ends and when you die but do we truly know what happens? And which religion is truly right?

Sports I would never live for they involve physical energy out towards a certain area. For what? The pride of standing on top of someone else? Beating them?

Family? I would never live for family they love you because they have to and when they don't because they have to and it is true it seems to always fade or be focused on someone else. Soo do they love you? Or is it a never ending circle of expectation?

This hurts the most. Music I would say music keeps me going but it also tears me down. Again there is always a winer someone better and stronger. Getting lost In music as I am now is why I live today and always. Of course everyone is open to their opinions and beliefs. But if I loose that I die. So I close this with "Why do you live?".

My Two Sides

Looking at me right this moment i see two sides one who is loosing a battle with none other than himself and two somebody so accomplished and proud for his age and position. He is losing the battle because he considers himself a loser and not worth it. Also his stress levels rise daily from bad orch auditions to school work garage work football games studying helping Church and sleeping. He feels like he is losing friends daily just because his energy is no longer able to peruse through the tiredness and ache. On the bright Side he sees himself as a member of a select group of future leaders. He sees himself gain knowledge and staying positive about his downs. He also see himself crashing. Plummeting to his defeat. He is me. And I me.

You......

Your part of every little thought that goes in my mind
I know I shouldn't even waste your time
But my feelings for you keep growing strong
From the first time I met u its been so long

So I'm writing this song for you
And I really don't know what else to do

As My Heart Beats

I lay here hand over my heart not thinking of being proud but thinking of love. My heart beats the same as everyone else but my heart is beating for someone and in the same beat and time as some one it is just finding that exact person that exact heart and exact soul. To love and cherish and hold our hearts together beating in time forever. <3

Worthlesss

I feel like my life is worthless the time spent working and thinking has faded. Like a piece of driftwood once wishing to be made into something special ending up along the shore worthless and unwanted some people just leave it sit to be stepped on; others throw it back because they don't want to see it or deal with it any longer. My love has left me for no one but it's self. For I no longer could feel the sweet sweet bliss I once felt of never being beat

My last WISH!

            Well I was thinking and well this thought probably crossed everyone's mind once or twice. What if I die today right now or what if I'm struck with something in which there is only enough time for one more wish. And well I thought about this subject for a while and this is deff. What I want to say. My last wish would be for my friends and family's well being to be kept safe and them to stick together. Of course there are the wishes; to meet buddy vlastro ( the cake boss) and also to meet Simon Crowell which could be done as a last wish but if they were my last wish I would die sadden and incomplete. Why?? You might ask because just because I met them doesn't mean I mean anything to them I would wish to be on a friend basis and actually meet them not their tv masks they put on. Or my last wish could be to get the music educators degree which with me the thought is way more important than the actual degree a measly piece of paper. I deffantally would want to also point out about how people say after someone is dead they say like "he would have wanted this or this was very important to him." when really they don't know my thoughts. Soo don't do that. Now to why I'm writing this as a young 15yr old and thinking deep about it and not even having a disease or deadly sickness. My answer is " I'm not sick and hurting but in the next hour I could be in a car flying off a bridge plummeting to my death yes at only 15 also there are diseases that aren't discovered until one is dead I could have that what ever takes me down i want you to know I'm perfectly fine as long as this is told to everyone as MY LAST WISH